***This is going to be a long one people, maybe you should get a beverage first***
So I'm minding my own business, basking in the glow of a Steelers Super Bowl Victory. I don't know if they deserved to win, but they did. Still and all, props to Arizona and especially Larry Fitzgerald, who has been my favorite non Steeler for about two years. Anyhoo, I turn on my computer and AIM comes on. With it comes a page that says...50 hottest redheads. I'm a sucker for redheads, and Pajiba just had a vote recently about it, so I decide to take a look. What I saw was not only terrible, but downright disgusting. I don't know who voted for this but whoever it was wasn't either 1. Male or 2. Over the age of 18. Either that or this was a list made based on whose publicists did the most work. Because now only haven't I heard of half of these people, but most of the people who are on it I know are laughable. And apparently it's based on anyone who they have a picture of with red hair, because some people who are known as a brunette or blonde are on here as well.
The site is http://dashboard.aim.com/aim/galleries/50-hottest-redheads?icid=aimDBPromoOne_1
I recommend you look along as I make my comments.
50. Jenna Fischer - A great start to the list. I think 50 is pretty low, but at least she is on it. She's downright adorable.
49. Gia Ferrell - Don't know who she is. Not cuter than Jenna. In line for a beak tweak. Average at best.
48. Alison Sudol - Who is this? Apparently a singer. The pic on the list makes her look goofy.
47. Rumer Willis -
(stares at screen, mouth agape)
(sighs)
(takes a sip of water)
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Are you fucking kidding me? I've had bowel movements with blood in them that were prettier redheads than her. She looks like a misshapen Mister Potato Head. I went into a full body heave when I say her on the screen. She must have made Demi Moore's vagina look like a manhole when she was born. Sweet Tapdancing Christ on a pogo stick. She's not the 50 cutest anything. I don't know who Jenna Fischer pissed off, but she needs to fire her publicist ASAP.
46. Alyson Hannigan - Wayyyyyyyy too soon for her to be on this list. Not based on the picture on the site, but all of the other ones. She's adorable and a top 10 contender here and on Pajiba when we had our vote. At least she is ahead of 47 (which is also her hat size)
45. Cris Winger - No fucking clue. IMBD says she did makeup for 20 movies and was in one. she's cute, but not deserving to be on this list if we don't know who the fuck she is.
44. Sara Rue - She was on some TV show, where she was perky and chunky. Then she lost weight. I think she was on The Big Bang Theory recently. If I could possibly pull her in a bar, she shouldn't be on the list.
43. Emilie Dequenne - French actress. Meh.
42. Barbara Meier - German Model. Won Germany's Next Top Model. Bad picture I guess.
41. Susan Sarandon - 20 years ago maybe. Come on people, I understand that we are supposed to celebrate older women and say that they are just as hot and vibrant as women 20-30 years younger than them. Horseshit. Susan Sarandon is a good looking woman and I thought she was great in Bull Durham, but is she hotter than Alyson Hannigan? Um, hell no.
40. Tori Amos - She wasn't hot before, she isn't hot now. Looks like a Muppet who sings depressing songs. This is a list of the HOTTEST Redheads and there have been 2 out of 11 that should be on the list.
39. Kristen Stewart - Bitch is boring when she acts. Looks boring in her pictures. It's funny, there's also a list of Top 100 performers under 25 that I couldn't bear to look the whole way through. Here's a hint. She's in the top 15, Lauren Conrad is 3rd. Dakota Fanning is 100th. Something is wrong wrong wrong here.
38. Kate Walsh - OK, not bad, this is about her range. I remember her when she was Drew's girlfriend on the Drew Carey Show and she wore a fat suit, but when she wasn't in it was sneaky cute. Then she gets on that crappy Grey's Anatomy show and she's sultry? Things change.
37. Deirdre Quinn - Apparently she is on Heroes. I don't know. I have never watched it. I watch How I Met Your Mother, a better show with a better redhead.
36. Aviva - There is no record of her on Google, just some company. Did a little deeper dig and she is Aviva Farber, the hot little redhead McLovin goes to bed with in Superbad. Jesus, that is the worst picture ever taken of her. I'd fire her agent for letting that represent her hotness.
35. Kate Nash - British singer. Once again the pic provided is the worst ever. Was the guy putting this together running late and needed to get out of the office? Take an extra 10 minutes and have some pride in your craft.
34. Emily Bergl - Another bad pic. And she doesn't look good with short red hair. She was in that Carrie 2 movie...there she had the creepy hot look aka the Fairuza Balk. You know, the look where she was going to fuck the shit out of you then kill you with a butter knife and use your skin as a Snugglie.
33. Claire Danes - Good pick, good placement. May be one of the rare women who is cuter as a blonde.
32. Danneel Harris - She's on One Tree Hill and was in the 2nd Harold and Kumar movie. And she will be in the upcoming Sony release Fired Up (that was for you Shawn). Maybe she should be higher than she is ranked here.
31. Bonnie McKee - she's a singer. Meh.
30. Lily Cole - Apparently this woman is a "Supermodel" She must be able to suck a tennis ball through a racket, though I don't know how with the bottom of your head missing. If we took Rumer Willis's jaw and put it on the top of hers, it would look like an Easter Island statue.
29. Michelle Stafford - Apparently she's won two Emmys. Then I looked further and they are Daytime Emmy's. I won a Daytime Emmy for the time I withdrew money at the ATM. She looks like an average soccer mom, the one who brings vegetables for the team snack.
28. Kirsten Dunst - I guess they don't take teeth into account. Britain's Sweetheart looks like she makes keys with those bad boys.
27. Shayna Rose - Another soap actress and was on Mad Men and Ugly Betty. Where she shouldn't be. On this list at 27. Plain pale redhead with no merit to be where she is.
26. Rachel Boston - Played the sister on The Ex List, which was cancelled in like a week. Another OK but not special pick who should be lower.
25. Scarlett Pomers - Like I'm going to back someone who's main role was on Reba. I don't get this list so far.
24. Christina Ricci - Much hotter with jet black hair. I don't even know when she was a redhead.
23. Gillian Anderson - Guys are crazy about her for some reason. She's cute, but has the personality of a tube sock. But the list is for hottest, so she should be here, and here's a good a spot as any.
22. Nicola Roberts - There's a band called Girls Aloud, I guess. Never heard of them. Never heard of her. She needs a nose job.
21. Phoebe Price - No fucking clue. She looks like she is a candidate for Crack Whore Magazine. But after starring in such classics as "The Junkyard Willie Movie - Lost in Transit" and "Strawberries for the Homeless" and one episode of Arliss as "Photographer" she clearly deserves to be on this list.
20. Julianne Moore - Now we are getting somewhere. Yes and double yes. Insanely hot back in the day and holds up nicely.
19. Bryce Dallas Howard - No and hell no. Clint is hotter than her. ***I went to the Pajiba list to look at this after I was done. Apparently, I used the same joke. It still applies.
18. Shirley Manson - Under the Freaky hot section (see Emily Bergl) but too high for this list.
17. Lindsay Lohan - I thought the idiots who made this list would rank her higher. But when she has her shit together and her mouth shut, she is attractive. Look that that to happen again in 2056.
16. Joss Stone - She has a good voice. I liked the first album where she sang standards. As for being hot? She is a two face. (see Seinfeld for reference) and hotter as a blonde.
15. Kate Winslet - Talented and hot. Deserves to be where she is, if not higher.
14. Karen Elson - British model and singer. eh, ok, you can stay.
13. Laura Prepon - Very very hot. I was saddened by three things about her. 1. when she went blonde. That was a sad day. She was hot and different looking then she went bimbo. 2. Dating Christopher Masterson, the less manly Masterson brother (which is saying a mouthful). 3. Is a Scientologist. Takes her out of the running forever.
12. Emma Stone - Another girl from Superbad. You know, for a movie I didn't much like, they did have some talented redheads. What? I think Michael Cera does the same thing every movie and Jonah Hill isn't funny at all. He aspires to be Jack Black.....who isn't funny anymore either.
11. Angie Everhart - Hall of Famer. Still has it.
10. Debra Messing - WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!? Are you kidding me? Personality goes a long way on this one. She is more annoying than crotch rot.
9. Alicia Witt - A personal favorite from waaaaaayyyyy back. When I lived at home, my mom loved Cybill. I would watch it just to see her. And Cybill is more annoying and self centered than Debra Messing, so that tells you how hot I think Alicia Witt is.
8. Ashlee Simpson - Ahead of Alicia Witt? Fuck you voters. She is the ugly sister. Hell, O.J., Marge and Grampa Simpson have more to offer than this talentless bim. the only couple I hate more than her and her gay husband are the two dickheads from the Hills. BTW, on that list of Top people under 25, Heidi was 24th. Kat Demmings was 25th. There is no God.
7. Amy Adams - Top 3 on my list. hell, at least she is in the top 10 and ahead of Asslee.
6. Drew Barrymore - Don't know what to say. For a while I had a full length poster of her in my old apartment that was hot. http://www.boxingscene.com/media/data/513/medium/3776Drew_Barrymore_boxing_again.jpg
She don't look like that anymore. She's attractive, but not top 10.
5. Rose McGowan - She is Top 5. Hot and curvy....and crazy!!!!
4. Lydia Hearst - Didn't know who she was. If you are allegedly top 5, we should know you. And eat a fucking burger while you're at it. I will trade Alyson Hannigan's spot for this one.
3. Marcia Cross - ?????? Do you remember that movie "Death Becomes Her" where Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep end up with eternal life, but have to spackle and duct tape themselves? I think Marcia Cross is going the same way. When she was on Melrose Place, she deserved to be up this high, but not now....no sirree bob. Good thing Teri Hatcher was never a redhead or her dumb ass would be on here as well.
2. Christina Hendricks - I have never watched Mad Men. I have seen pictures of Christina Hendricks. Mad Men is a great fucking show. And it's great some curvy women are coming on the scene.
1. Evan Rachel Wood - #1? The Hottest redhead? I mean she's cute, but not the hottest redhead. Not the hottest young actress. Not the hottest actress in the movie The Wrestler. Marisa Tomei, FTW. What a depressing end to the list.
OVERALL - Obviously the list sucked. I didn't know 18 of them. Some were criminally low, some were criminally high and Rumer fucking Willis was on the list. Do you know who wasn't on the list?
Lauren Ambrose
Nicole Kidman
Laura Leighton
Rachel McAdams
and the hottest redhead of them all (no, not Shawn Hugus)
Isla Fisher
As I said, I don't know who made this list, but here's my top 10 and I'll let you decide which is better.
10. Julianne Moore
9. Jenna Fischer
8. Christina Hendricks
7. Laura Prepon
6. Alyson Hannigan
5. Alicia Witt
4. Rose McGowan
3. Rachel McAdams
2. Amy Adams
1. Isla Fisher
....and I'm spent.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Now that's good eatin!!!!
OK, I'll tend more to the blog now after removing myself from the poker sites for a couple weeks. I am growing tired of having pocket Aces and losing to lesser hands (in this case he has AK and hit runner runner straight) I am beginning to believe the theorists out there who say that the games are rigged. I have lost with pocket aces 5 times in the last 7 tournaments. That can't be a coincidence.
Anyway, I said before to friends I was going to write about my favorite meals. You don't get to be my size and not enjoy a meal or two. So, here are my five favorite comfort meals....the things that make the big man happy.
Honorable mention - A Ham Salad Sandwich from Andersons on a fresh roll with Snyders Potato Chips and Cherokee Red. The reason this is honorable mention is because Andersons is closed. I will never be able to get that particular type of Ham Salad anymore. And I loved it so much. Anything else will be a weak sister to that. Also, they don't sell Snyders Potato Chips and Cherokee Red in L.A., it's strictly East Coast. Like back in the day, they didn't sell Ho-Ho's here. Also, back in the day, every individual Ho-Ho was wrapped in aluminum foil. That was weird. BTW, Shawn and Michele HATE ham salad and were grossed out when I ate it. But I don't take food advice from someone who doesn't put milk on cereal, doesn't eat eggs or drink cola.
Others receiving votes - Large Poorboy sammich from Bay Cities, the Garlic rolls at Pizza Cookery, House Special Chicken from Pick Up Stix. Pad See Ew from Thai and I in Encino, Shrimp Scampi from the Cheesecake Factory. A Grilled Ham and Swiss from any deli. Scrambled Eggs with Biscuits and Gravy from Raes.
5 - A Shrimp Scampi Burrito from Poquito Mas, Mojado style - Walker took me to this place for lunch one day when we were working at OOMC. Now, I love shrimp like Bubba Blue did. So I ordered it. Fresh tortillas and shrimp with really good soft white rice wrapped up, drenched in red sauce and with a caesar salad and black beans on the side. And the price ranges depending on the volatile shrimp market. So it can be 7.99 or 11.99. Either way, it is quite choice.
4 - Porterhouse steak with the garlic seasoning, medium well with mashed potatoes AND French fries with a Ciroc and Ginger Ale to drink from Prime at the Bellagio - I used to not be a steak guy. My affinity for it has grown as I have been able to upgrade from Steak-um's and Steak and Eggs at Norms (AKA the Trevor Shickman Special). Back in the days, when the troops would roll up to Vegas, our good friend Al would get us hooked up at Prime. It was our friend J.P. (who has the tastebuds of a 7 year old) who insisted on the fries. And what a great choice he made. They are light as air and not greasy at all. It's goofy, but running a fry through your mashed potatoes and eating it is a fun thing to do for me. As for the drink, I'll say it again. Fuck Poof Drizzle, I was drinking Ciroc way before his punk ass did. Other steak houses like Mastros, Fins and Fogo De Chao are good, but Prime is the balls.
3 - King Cheese well done with Lettuce, Onions, Mayo and Pickles from Fatburger - Some will say In and Out is the best burger out there, but they are flimsy and I don't like the condiment selection as much. A King Burger needs two hands and it has some heft to it. And I like steak fries, so the fat fries are better than the ones at In and Out. Now, if we are going to In and Out, I will eat it happily, but the Fatboogie is my favorite.
2 - Chicken Parmesan with a side of spaghetti and meat sauce from Maggiano's - I just had this yesterday, the serving is so huge you can take it home and have it for another meal. The sauce from the Chicken Parm mixed with the meat sauce from the spaghetti is really tasty. I have tried only one other meal at Maggiano's and while it was good, I had to order a chicken parm to go because I regretted turning my back on my true Maggiano's love.
1B - Spaghetti and Meatballs from Rizzo's in Crabtree, Pennsylvania - Their sauce is so good that I have it shipped to me by the case from http://www.rizzosmalabarinn.com/sauces.aspx. I know it's a bias, but East Coast Italian food is far superior to the stuff you get here. Like Ray Liotta said in Goodfellas "Ketchup and noodles with burnt meatballs". Oh, and you have to get the Garlic bread and a salad, no beets. If Rizzo's closes, based on Anderson's closing this year, I have no reason to go back to Western PA, except family. :)
1A - Chick Fil-A Sandwich, no pickles, Large Waffle fries with barbecue sauce to dip in and a small cole slaw - It's a running joke with all of my friends, but it is the best fast food there is. The closest one is 20 miles away and I will make road trips to go get it. And I bring back several sandwiches and nuggets for Michele and I to eat during the week. Chick Fil-A was my first job back in 1986 at Santa Monica Place. (And no, despite rumors to the contrary, I never wore the chicken suit. I did dress up as Santa Claus at the Westside Pavilion when I was 26, but thats another story for another blog). We used to get free food as a perk for working there and it's no wonder the place went out of business. I wish one was closer, but am also aftaid I would be 350 lbs.
I didn't say this was the best food, just the food that makes me the happiest. Feel free to advise me on what else I should try.
Anyway, I said before to friends I was going to write about my favorite meals. You don't get to be my size and not enjoy a meal or two. So, here are my five favorite comfort meals....the things that make the big man happy.
Honorable mention - A Ham Salad Sandwich from Andersons on a fresh roll with Snyders Potato Chips and Cherokee Red. The reason this is honorable mention is because Andersons is closed. I will never be able to get that particular type of Ham Salad anymore. And I loved it so much. Anything else will be a weak sister to that. Also, they don't sell Snyders Potato Chips and Cherokee Red in L.A., it's strictly East Coast. Like back in the day, they didn't sell Ho-Ho's here. Also, back in the day, every individual Ho-Ho was wrapped in aluminum foil. That was weird. BTW, Shawn and Michele HATE ham salad and were grossed out when I ate it. But I don't take food advice from someone who doesn't put milk on cereal, doesn't eat eggs or drink cola.
Others receiving votes - Large Poorboy sammich from Bay Cities, the Garlic rolls at Pizza Cookery, House Special Chicken from Pick Up Stix. Pad See Ew from Thai and I in Encino, Shrimp Scampi from the Cheesecake Factory. A Grilled Ham and Swiss from any deli. Scrambled Eggs with Biscuits and Gravy from Raes.
5 - A Shrimp Scampi Burrito from Poquito Mas, Mojado style - Walker took me to this place for lunch one day when we were working at OOMC. Now, I love shrimp like Bubba Blue did. So I ordered it. Fresh tortillas and shrimp with really good soft white rice wrapped up, drenched in red sauce and with a caesar salad and black beans on the side. And the price ranges depending on the volatile shrimp market. So it can be 7.99 or 11.99. Either way, it is quite choice.
4 - Porterhouse steak with the garlic seasoning, medium well with mashed potatoes AND French fries with a Ciroc and Ginger Ale to drink from Prime at the Bellagio - I used to not be a steak guy. My affinity for it has grown as I have been able to upgrade from Steak-um's and Steak and Eggs at Norms (AKA the Trevor Shickman Special). Back in the days, when the troops would roll up to Vegas, our good friend Al would get us hooked up at Prime. It was our friend J.P. (who has the tastebuds of a 7 year old) who insisted on the fries. And what a great choice he made. They are light as air and not greasy at all. It's goofy, but running a fry through your mashed potatoes and eating it is a fun thing to do for me. As for the drink, I'll say it again. Fuck Poof Drizzle, I was drinking Ciroc way before his punk ass did. Other steak houses like Mastros, Fins and Fogo De Chao are good, but Prime is the balls.
3 - King Cheese well done with Lettuce, Onions, Mayo and Pickles from Fatburger - Some will say In and Out is the best burger out there, but they are flimsy and I don't like the condiment selection as much. A King Burger needs two hands and it has some heft to it. And I like steak fries, so the fat fries are better than the ones at In and Out. Now, if we are going to In and Out, I will eat it happily, but the Fatboogie is my favorite.
2 - Chicken Parmesan with a side of spaghetti and meat sauce from Maggiano's - I just had this yesterday, the serving is so huge you can take it home and have it for another meal. The sauce from the Chicken Parm mixed with the meat sauce from the spaghetti is really tasty. I have tried only one other meal at Maggiano's and while it was good, I had to order a chicken parm to go because I regretted turning my back on my true Maggiano's love.
1B - Spaghetti and Meatballs from Rizzo's in Crabtree, Pennsylvania - Their sauce is so good that I have it shipped to me by the case from http://www.rizzosmalabarinn.com/sauces.aspx. I know it's a bias, but East Coast Italian food is far superior to the stuff you get here. Like Ray Liotta said in Goodfellas "Ketchup and noodles with burnt meatballs". Oh, and you have to get the Garlic bread and a salad, no beets. If Rizzo's closes, based on Anderson's closing this year, I have no reason to go back to Western PA, except family. :)
1A - Chick Fil-A Sandwich, no pickles, Large Waffle fries with barbecue sauce to dip in and a small cole slaw - It's a running joke with all of my friends, but it is the best fast food there is. The closest one is 20 miles away and I will make road trips to go get it. And I bring back several sandwiches and nuggets for Michele and I to eat during the week. Chick Fil-A was my first job back in 1986 at Santa Monica Place. (And no, despite rumors to the contrary, I never wore the chicken suit. I did dress up as Santa Claus at the Westside Pavilion when I was 26, but thats another story for another blog). We used to get free food as a perk for working there and it's no wonder the place went out of business. I wish one was closer, but am also aftaid I would be 350 lbs.
I didn't say this was the best food, just the food that makes me the happiest. Feel free to advise me on what else I should try.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves
1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Bring Me Edelweiss - Edelweiss
2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
What You Won’t Do for Love – Bobby Caldwell - Yeah, I’m a sucker for attention and making people happy.
3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Second Time Around – Shalamar – I don’t know what that means. Does it mean I only like someone the second time we’re together? I’m happy now.
4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I’m Housin’ – EPMD – Yes, I am housin…..I rule!
5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE??
Walking in Memphis – Marc Cohn – Um, am I to be a transient?
6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Everytime You Go Away – Paul Young – You take a piece of me with you….
7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Mr. Scarface, The Final Chapter – Mr. Scarface - I’m a drug dealer?
8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Riptide – Robert Palmer – I don’t swim, and the song is about being torn between two lovers. It is not true.
9) WHAT IS 2+2?
Your Song – Elton John – Yeah, it is a basic song.
10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Sanford and Son Theme Song - HAHAHAHAHAHA
11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Trip and a Half/Mia Bocca – Jill Jones - She is a trip and a half
12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Love My Way – The Psychedelic Furs – Yep, it has to be my way…
13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Mexican Radio – Wall of Voodoo – I don’t know
14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
How Do You Keep the Music Playing? – James Ingram and Patti Austin - Hmmmm, guess I’m worried about keeping her.
15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Tin Man – America – But you had heart all along….
16)WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Amazing – Josh Kelley – Maybe.
17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Shock the Monkey – Peter Gabriel - LOL
18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Put Your Hands on Me – Sinead O’Connor - playing with yourself isn’t a hobby, it’s a vocation.
19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Wonder if I’ll Take You Home – Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam with Full Force – Did I have a one night stand I don’t know about? Or when I did back in the days…..did something happen?
20) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Out of Touch – Hall and Oates – Again…..HAHAHHAHAHA
21) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Fire and Rain – James Taylor – Don’t like burning, don’t like drowning.
22) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Polka Your Eyes Out – Weird Al Yankovic – I can see that.
23) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Light of Day – Joan Jett – See previous mentions to one night stands.
24) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
My Ever Changing Moods – Style Council – Yep, I’m a moody sonofabitch
25) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Steal My Sunshine – Len – I don’t like when my sunshine is stolen.
26) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
I Don’t Want to Wait – Paula Cole – I am engaged….so there you go.
27) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Possession – Sarah Mclachlan – Yeah, I don’t like to be possessed by the devil.
28) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Tiny Dancer – Elton John – she is petite, and can shake it…..yep, that’s my girl
29) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Goody Two Shoes – Adam and the Ants - I don’t know, would I be one? Or would I stop myself from being one? I didn’t think I was one.
30) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Guilty – Barry Gibb and Barbra Streisand – Cant think why.
31) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves - Cher
32) HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE YOU?
Naturally Mine – Al. B. Sure! – Yes, I am there for the whole world.
33)WILL I HAVE A HAPPY LIFE?
Beautiful Day – U2 –Fuckin’ A – Nice!!!
34)WHAT DO MY FRIENDS REALLY THINK OF ME?
I’m Bad – LL Cool J – Yep, I’m a bad ass
35) DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER ME?
Calling All Angels – Train – Vladimir Guerrero wants me? Um, I’m a fan, but no.
36) HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?
Just Another Night – Mick Jagger – of what?
37)WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE?
Undercover Angel – Alan O’Day – Great, I’m gonna be a detective or manwhore.
38) WILL I EVER HAVE CHILDREN?
Jimmy – Boogie Down Productions – A song about condoms doesn’t bode well.
39) WHAT IS SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR ME?
You Can’t Change That – Ray Parker Jr. and Raydio – Yeah, just let things that you can’t change go, don’t let them get to you.
40) HOW WILL I BE REMEMBERED?
Stop Draggin My Heart Around – Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty – Um, this isn’t good.
41) WHAT IS MY SIGNATURE DANCING SONG?
Your Smiling Face – James Taylor - I don’t know.
42)WHAT DO I THINK IS MY CURRENT SIGNATURE SONG?
Life’s Been Good to Me So Far – Joe Walsh – Yeah, that’s cool.
43) WHAT DOES EVERYONE THINK MY SONG IS?
Ghetto Thang – De La Soul – Because I am so down, I guess?
44) WHAT TYPE OF WOMEN DO YOU LIKE?
Night and Day – Al B. Sure! – Manic depressive? Not likely.
45) WHAT IS MY DAY GOING TO BE LIKE?
Isn’t She Lovely – Stevie Wonder – OK.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Bring Me Edelweiss - Edelweiss
2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
What You Won’t Do for Love – Bobby Caldwell - Yeah, I’m a sucker for attention and making people happy.
3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Second Time Around – Shalamar – I don’t know what that means. Does it mean I only like someone the second time we’re together? I’m happy now.
4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I’m Housin’ – EPMD – Yes, I am housin…..I rule!
5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE??
Walking in Memphis – Marc Cohn – Um, am I to be a transient?
6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Everytime You Go Away – Paul Young – You take a piece of me with you….
7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Mr. Scarface, The Final Chapter – Mr. Scarface - I’m a drug dealer?
8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Riptide – Robert Palmer – I don’t swim, and the song is about being torn between two lovers. It is not true.
9) WHAT IS 2+2?
Your Song – Elton John – Yeah, it is a basic song.
10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Sanford and Son Theme Song - HAHAHAHAHAHA
11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Trip and a Half/Mia Bocca – Jill Jones - She is a trip and a half
12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Love My Way – The Psychedelic Furs – Yep, it has to be my way…
13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Mexican Radio – Wall of Voodoo – I don’t know
14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
How Do You Keep the Music Playing? – James Ingram and Patti Austin - Hmmmm, guess I’m worried about keeping her.
15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Tin Man – America – But you had heart all along….
16)WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Amazing – Josh Kelley – Maybe.
17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Shock the Monkey – Peter Gabriel - LOL
18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Put Your Hands on Me – Sinead O’Connor - playing with yourself isn’t a hobby, it’s a vocation.
19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I Wonder if I’ll Take You Home – Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam with Full Force – Did I have a one night stand I don’t know about? Or when I did back in the days…..did something happen?
20) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Out of Touch – Hall and Oates – Again…..HAHAHHAHAHA
21) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Fire and Rain – James Taylor – Don’t like burning, don’t like drowning.
22) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Polka Your Eyes Out – Weird Al Yankovic – I can see that.
23) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Light of Day – Joan Jett – See previous mentions to one night stands.
24) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
My Ever Changing Moods – Style Council – Yep, I’m a moody sonofabitch
25) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Steal My Sunshine – Len – I don’t like when my sunshine is stolen.
26) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
I Don’t Want to Wait – Paula Cole – I am engaged….so there you go.
27) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Possession – Sarah Mclachlan – Yeah, I don’t like to be possessed by the devil.
28) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Tiny Dancer – Elton John – she is petite, and can shake it…..yep, that’s my girl
29) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Goody Two Shoes – Adam and the Ants - I don’t know, would I be one? Or would I stop myself from being one? I didn’t think I was one.
30) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Guilty – Barry Gibb and Barbra Streisand – Cant think why.
31) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves - Cher
32) HOW DOES THE WORLD SEE YOU?
Naturally Mine – Al. B. Sure! – Yes, I am there for the whole world.
33)WILL I HAVE A HAPPY LIFE?
Beautiful Day – U2 –Fuckin’ A – Nice!!!
34)WHAT DO MY FRIENDS REALLY THINK OF ME?
I’m Bad – LL Cool J – Yep, I’m a bad ass
35) DO PEOPLE SECRETLY LUST AFTER ME?
Calling All Angels – Train – Vladimir Guerrero wants me? Um, I’m a fan, but no.
36) HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?
Just Another Night – Mick Jagger – of what?
37)WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY LIFE?
Undercover Angel – Alan O’Day – Great, I’m gonna be a detective or manwhore.
38) WILL I EVER HAVE CHILDREN?
Jimmy – Boogie Down Productions – A song about condoms doesn’t bode well.
39) WHAT IS SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR ME?
You Can’t Change That – Ray Parker Jr. and Raydio – Yeah, just let things that you can’t change go, don’t let them get to you.
40) HOW WILL I BE REMEMBERED?
Stop Draggin My Heart Around – Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty – Um, this isn’t good.
41) WHAT IS MY SIGNATURE DANCING SONG?
Your Smiling Face – James Taylor - I don’t know.
42)WHAT DO I THINK IS MY CURRENT SIGNATURE SONG?
Life’s Been Good to Me So Far – Joe Walsh – Yeah, that’s cool.
43) WHAT DOES EVERYONE THINK MY SONG IS?
Ghetto Thang – De La Soul – Because I am so down, I guess?
44) WHAT TYPE OF WOMEN DO YOU LIKE?
Night and Day – Al B. Sure! – Manic depressive? Not likely.
45) WHAT IS MY DAY GOING TO BE LIKE?
Isn’t She Lovely – Stevie Wonder – OK.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
It's time to update an old list
My good friend Chris Walker and I had a conversation one day over lunch about the 10 women you would be allowed to sleep with and your significant other couldn't complain. I wrote this list on August 17th, 2006. It was a pretty solid list, but for some reason, I had Elisha Cuthbert and Katherine Heigl on the top, but they were moved for Rachel McAdams a couple days later. Know that this was before I ever heard one of them speak. The list was as follows:
Others receiving votes: Sophie Marceau, Claire Forlani, Rose McGowan, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Asia Argento, Liv Tyler, Jenna Fischer, Audrey Tautou, Carla Gugino, Gabrielle Union, Rachel Weisz, Alyson Hannigan, Jessica Biel, Michelle Monaghan, Mary Louise Parker, Alicia Witt, Jennifer Esposito, Kate Beckinsale.
10 - Eliza Dushku
9 - Kelly Hu - I liked the idea of the name Kelly Hu Hugus....like a stutter or hiccup.
8 - Elizabeth Banks
7 - Ashley Judd
6 - Famke Janssen
5 - Lauren Graham
4 - Diane Lane
3 - Jessica Alba
2 - Cuthbert or Heigl
1 - Rachel McAdams
The list is outdated....things need to be switched around and changed. I'm not interested in almost every one of these new celubutards that have hit the scene. There are no Audrey Hepburns on the horizon. But as I get older, I like a woman who has a little more substance. I don't understand why.....but now here's the new list.
10 - Gemma Arterton - Strawberry Fields in Quantum of Solace, best thing about the movie.
9- Mary Louise Parker - Should have been on the other list, I like her quirkiness
8 - Jenna Fischer - too adorable on the Office
7 - Emmanuelle Chriqui - incredibly hot, almost worth watching Zohan for
6 - Lauren Graham - Still on the list
5 - Isla Fisher - attractive and funny
4 - Diane Lane - the lifetime achievement award, has not lost a step
3 - Rachel McAdams - still beautiful, was #1, but been out of the picture.
2 - Elizabeth Banks - Good movies, insanely attractive, right on the cusp of #1
1 - Amy Adams - Total package. No need to elaborate.
Feel free to give your opinions.
Others receiving votes: Sophie Marceau, Claire Forlani, Rose McGowan, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Asia Argento, Liv Tyler, Jenna Fischer, Audrey Tautou, Carla Gugino, Gabrielle Union, Rachel Weisz, Alyson Hannigan, Jessica Biel, Michelle Monaghan, Mary Louise Parker, Alicia Witt, Jennifer Esposito, Kate Beckinsale.
10 - Eliza Dushku
9 - Kelly Hu - I liked the idea of the name Kelly Hu Hugus....like a stutter or hiccup.
8 - Elizabeth Banks
7 - Ashley Judd
6 - Famke Janssen
5 - Lauren Graham
4 - Diane Lane
3 - Jessica Alba
2 - Cuthbert or Heigl
1 - Rachel McAdams
The list is outdated....things need to be switched around and changed. I'm not interested in almost every one of these new celubutards that have hit the scene. There are no Audrey Hepburns on the horizon. But as I get older, I like a woman who has a little more substance. I don't understand why.....but now here's the new list.
10 - Gemma Arterton - Strawberry Fields in Quantum of Solace, best thing about the movie.
9- Mary Louise Parker - Should have been on the other list, I like her quirkiness
8 - Jenna Fischer - too adorable on the Office
7 - Emmanuelle Chriqui - incredibly hot, almost worth watching Zohan for
6 - Lauren Graham - Still on the list
5 - Isla Fisher - attractive and funny
4 - Diane Lane - the lifetime achievement award, has not lost a step
3 - Rachel McAdams - still beautiful, was #1, but been out of the picture.
2 - Elizabeth Banks - Good movies, insanely attractive, right on the cusp of #1
1 - Amy Adams - Total package. No need to elaborate.
Feel free to give your opinions.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I can't sleep......
Once I fall asleep, I can sleep for 12 hours, but I am unable to fall asleep before 2 AM. It's 2:07 right now on a Sunday night and I am wide awake. I tried to sleep, but obviously it didn't happen. I did the LA Times Sunday crossword puzzle, but that only took up 29 minutes of my time (I usually do it in under 30 with a personal best of 21 minutes). I played Yahtzee and Word Whomp on Pogo. I read a chapter of Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (great book BTW, Shawn).
During the day there are a lot of things to occupy my time. When night falls, I worry about if I'm going to go to get a job. If not, am I going to go to school full time. If I do, can I afford it? When am I going to get married? How can we have a wedding if I am unemployed? Why can't I lose 30 pounds? (the answer to that is because every Monday, I try to start a workout plan, do 30-45 minutes on the treadmill and don't touch it again until the following week. But tomorrow, I'll start for real).
It's a different week with Thanksgiving coming up. A lot of places aren't going to interview. I've had a couple companies say they won't be contacting anyone until the New Year. So.....I will take the unemployment checks (I'm eligible for one year, woo hoo) and hopefully I will be working by MLK day. But I'm still going to worry until then. I'm going to be 40 in a year and 9 months. And yet I feel like I have no plan. I always said my work would not define the type of person I am, my family and friends would do that, but I'm not alone anymore. It's not like I'm afraid to work, and I've worked for some of the all time assholes in my life, so I can take abuse and criticism. Yet, I think going to school is the move. Most jobs, even on the entry level, require some type of degree. Since I will have 8 classes left after this, why not do it now? The market sucks and it doesn't seem like it's getting any better. Yeah, it's time to start looking for student loans tomorrow.....I promised people I would finish my degree, so it's time to live up to my word.
I feel better to put it in words. And now I'm getting a little sleepy. So maybe it's time to go to bed.
Once I fall asleep, I can sleep for 12 hours, but I am unable to fall asleep before 2 AM. It's 2:07 right now on a Sunday night and I am wide awake. I tried to sleep, but obviously it didn't happen. I did the LA Times Sunday crossword puzzle, but that only took up 29 minutes of my time (I usually do it in under 30 with a personal best of 21 minutes). I played Yahtzee and Word Whomp on Pogo. I read a chapter of Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (great book BTW, Shawn).
During the day there are a lot of things to occupy my time. When night falls, I worry about if I'm going to go to get a job. If not, am I going to go to school full time. If I do, can I afford it? When am I going to get married? How can we have a wedding if I am unemployed? Why can't I lose 30 pounds? (the answer to that is because every Monday, I try to start a workout plan, do 30-45 minutes on the treadmill and don't touch it again until the following week. But tomorrow, I'll start for real).
It's a different week with Thanksgiving coming up. A lot of places aren't going to interview. I've had a couple companies say they won't be contacting anyone until the New Year. So.....I will take the unemployment checks (I'm eligible for one year, woo hoo) and hopefully I will be working by MLK day. But I'm still going to worry until then. I'm going to be 40 in a year and 9 months. And yet I feel like I have no plan. I always said my work would not define the type of person I am, my family and friends would do that, but I'm not alone anymore. It's not like I'm afraid to work, and I've worked for some of the all time assholes in my life, so I can take abuse and criticism. Yet, I think going to school is the move. Most jobs, even on the entry level, require some type of degree. Since I will have 8 classes left after this, why not do it now? The market sucks and it doesn't seem like it's getting any better. Yeah, it's time to start looking for student loans tomorrow.....I promised people I would finish my degree, so it's time to live up to my word.
I feel better to put it in words. And now I'm getting a little sleepy. So maybe it's time to go to bed.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
And I have so little to look forward to.....but it could be worse
Since leaving the old jobsite on Halloween, I've had a lot of time to study and look for new jobs. I've been flip flopping on the idea of whether or not I am just going to go back to school and finish the last 8 classes I have and get my degree. I applied for Unemployment, so that's going to kick in soon. Anyway, it's stressful to me. So, even though I have a lot of free time, I don't go out and do things. But this week, I had plans for a couple of things I was looking forward to.
1. I saw Quantum of Solace
2. I was going to a taping of the Craig Ferguson show where James Lipton and Sarah McLachlan were going to be on. But before that, I was getting a tour of the CBS lot.
3. This Saturday a pub crawl then a birthday party at a bowling alley/karaoke bar. I love to singa about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a
At the start of the year, I wrote a blog on Myspace outlining the top movies I was looking forward to in 2008. They were Iron Man, The Dark Knight and Quantum of Solace. I am not a big comic book geek, but the first two seemed they were going to kick ass. And they most certainly did. I saw commercials for Quantum of Solace (piss poor name by the way, but I understand keeping with the Ian Fleming titles and the other ones left were worse) and I thought it was going to rock.....
Well, the movie was OK. Not horrible by any stretch, not phenomenal, just bleh. There were several well choreographed fight scenes but other than that, no real movement of story line and the villain was weak. And the Bond girl sucked. They should have had the other one be the main lady....Strawberry Fields....now she was cool. So that was a disappointment.
I woke up this morning, got dressed to go to CBS. Stopped at Pink's for a hot dog (which wasn't that good....especially when you take into account the line....it was a short line for there, but still took 20 minutes to order). Got bumped by someone and got a little chili on my shirt. A white dress shirt with blue lines...but I was able to cover it up. I get to the CBS Lot and my friend Dave is unable to make it for the tour. So he got his coworker Lisa to do it. She was wonderful. She took me to the Price is Right stage (I got to touch the wheel, It's not that heavy....I could probably make it spin for a long time.) The Dancing With the Stars and American Idol stages (both empty) and then she takes me to the Craig Ferguson stage. I hear someone say "she's on stage warming up" and I get goose pimples....Sarah McLachlan is my favorite singer. I turn the corner and it's some chick named Adele who is testing the mikes (check check sibalance) Lisa asks a guy when Sarah is going to be there he says
"Oh, she came in and taped it last week....we don't usually tape the same people the same day"
So I ask, who is going to be there.....
"Larry the Cable Guy"
MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!!
Why in the fuck would the website for the show say that the tickets were for that show and then she's not even actually there? It was the worst type of bait and switch. I was pissed off, but maintained my composure. Lisa felt terrible, but it's not her fault, she was really kind to give me a tour and take time out of her busy day to schlep some nobody around the whole lot. We looked around a little more, went to the CBS Shop (Bought a Letterman Late Show shirt....Lisa felt so bad, she used her discount) and got in the car and left without seeing ol' Larry.
I have no inherent problem with Larry, I liked the Blue Collar tours, but I am not waiting in a line for an hour and a half to hear him talk with Craig about electing a Kneegrow or eating at Stuckeys or whatever the hell he will say. I called Dave to thank him for getting Lisa to give me the tour and told him what happened and he said Larry was on the other lot and he had to wear the same shit he wears on stage in case he gets recognized. That must suck.
So I was driving home and moping...for several reasons, this being the most recent. I got a phone call from an old friend, Mike from my Option One days.....he tells me one of our old coworkers lost their house in the fire last week and he has a 4 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. They are safe, but have no home. So take that into consideration when you are moping about not seeing some singer. All in all, it sucked I didn't see Sarah again, but at least I am writing from my home. And as for the pubcrawl and the party later that night, I'll fill you in on the details...I predict I will sing Fiona Apple's "Criminal" because it is a fan favorite and I predict I will have a collasal hangover on Sunday. Until then......
1. I saw Quantum of Solace
2. I was going to a taping of the Craig Ferguson show where James Lipton and Sarah McLachlan were going to be on. But before that, I was getting a tour of the CBS lot.
3. This Saturday a pub crawl then a birthday party at a bowling alley/karaoke bar. I love to singa about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a
At the start of the year, I wrote a blog on Myspace outlining the top movies I was looking forward to in 2008. They were Iron Man, The Dark Knight and Quantum of Solace. I am not a big comic book geek, but the first two seemed they were going to kick ass. And they most certainly did. I saw commercials for Quantum of Solace (piss poor name by the way, but I understand keeping with the Ian Fleming titles and the other ones left were worse) and I thought it was going to rock.....
Well, the movie was OK. Not horrible by any stretch, not phenomenal, just bleh. There were several well choreographed fight scenes but other than that, no real movement of story line and the villain was weak. And the Bond girl sucked. They should have had the other one be the main lady....Strawberry Fields....now she was cool. So that was a disappointment.
I woke up this morning, got dressed to go to CBS. Stopped at Pink's for a hot dog (which wasn't that good....especially when you take into account the line....it was a short line for there, but still took 20 minutes to order). Got bumped by someone and got a little chili on my shirt. A white dress shirt with blue lines...but I was able to cover it up. I get to the CBS Lot and my friend Dave is unable to make it for the tour. So he got his coworker Lisa to do it. She was wonderful. She took me to the Price is Right stage (I got to touch the wheel, It's not that heavy....I could probably make it spin for a long time.) The Dancing With the Stars and American Idol stages (both empty) and then she takes me to the Craig Ferguson stage. I hear someone say "she's on stage warming up" and I get goose pimples....Sarah McLachlan is my favorite singer. I turn the corner and it's some chick named Adele who is testing the mikes (check check sibalance) Lisa asks a guy when Sarah is going to be there he says
"Oh, she came in and taped it last week....we don't usually tape the same people the same day"
So I ask, who is going to be there.....
"Larry the Cable Guy"
MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!!
Why in the fuck would the website for the show say that the tickets were for that show and then she's not even actually there? It was the worst type of bait and switch. I was pissed off, but maintained my composure. Lisa felt terrible, but it's not her fault, she was really kind to give me a tour and take time out of her busy day to schlep some nobody around the whole lot. We looked around a little more, went to the CBS Shop (Bought a Letterman Late Show shirt....Lisa felt so bad, she used her discount) and got in the car and left without seeing ol' Larry.
I have no inherent problem with Larry, I liked the Blue Collar tours, but I am not waiting in a line for an hour and a half to hear him talk with Craig about electing a Kneegrow or eating at Stuckeys or whatever the hell he will say. I called Dave to thank him for getting Lisa to give me the tour and told him what happened and he said Larry was on the other lot and he had to wear the same shit he wears on stage in case he gets recognized. That must suck.
So I was driving home and moping...for several reasons, this being the most recent. I got a phone call from an old friend, Mike from my Option One days.....he tells me one of our old coworkers lost their house in the fire last week and he has a 4 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. They are safe, but have no home. So take that into consideration when you are moping about not seeing some singer. All in all, it sucked I didn't see Sarah again, but at least I am writing from my home. And as for the pubcrawl and the party later that night, I'll fill you in on the details...I predict I will sing Fiona Apple's "Criminal" because it is a fan favorite and I predict I will have a collasal hangover on Sunday. Until then......
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Maybe I need to let the PMOT come and play next time....
After high school, I went to college for a while. Actually, let's amend that.....I went to the college to meet friends to go hang out with and smoke pot, have a few drinks with and goof off with until it was time to go home. I had a 0.75 GPA my first year of community college because I only went on test days and such. My study habits sucked and they didn't get much better when I went to CSUN and tried to work a 40 hour work week and take a full load of classes. Let's just say that I never made the Dean's list. I kept taking and dropping classes and barely getting by. By the time I was 24, I had reached Junior status but was on Academic Probation. There was an incident that kept me from going to school for a year that I may get into at some point, but not right now. However, that was finally the time I got my head on straight and was working and taking one or classes at a time and getting decent grades (A's and B's) I found that actually attending the classes made a huge difference.
When I was 26, I went into the Mortgage industry, working for Ameriquest (again, another story I'll have to tell). Because the hours were so long and because I was making a good salary, I didn't go back to finish the 10 classes I had left. For the last 12 years, I worked for various mortgage companies, made some cash, pissed it away and now with the mortgage crisis, I'm without a job, I spent all of the money I made and seem to have no prospects.
My fiancee has a bachelors and two Masters Degrees. She is wicked smart and she has been pushing me to go back to school and finish since basically our second date. This semester, I went back to Santa Monica College and I am taking a history and a math class. When I'm done with those, I'm 8 classes from a degree in Speech Communication at CSUN. That and 75 cents will get me a USA Today, I know, but it's better to get it done. This is an experience for me. I'm one of the older people in the class (there are a couple senior citizens then me at 38). I don't remember being this annoying (although I am quite sure I was) but some of the people in my class are starting to wear on my patience. Is it the three Freshman girls who decided it's more fun to giggle and yammer the whole time than take notes? Or the six young Asian gentlemen who get up 5 times a class and leave, never together, never for more than a minute, then come back and sit down? Nah, I don't care about that, I just moved to the back corner where I can take my notes in peace. But today, I met a new classmate and he just might have to meet the PMOT.
Anyway, I'm in class tonight. I'm taking down all of my notes on how to solve a quadratic equation by using four different methods (trust me, It's as exciting as it sounds) and I look over to about 2 on my clock and a little dweeb with chin pubes is spitting tobacco into a clear Arrowhead bottle. I hate spitting....it grosses me out. And for an hour (before we went on break) I couldn't be drawn away from this little bastard spitting. When something grosses me out, I am not tolerant, not quiet. I was pissed. We're not even supposed to have drinks in the class, let alone hand carried spitoons. And if you are going to do that, for fuck's sake get a cup that isn't clear so I don't have to see it edge down to the bottom. I was a basket case until about 10 minutes before the break when he put the dip in the bottle, capped it and put it all in his backpack.
I decided not to say anything because he had stopped and I thought that would be it. The break was over and we're taking notes and with about 20 minutes to go in class, he pulls out a Gabby Hayes size golfball o'chaw and starts spitting again. I start to shake inside. I am repulsed yet I cannot look away. I break out our patented family sigh....keep mumbling "that's so fucking gross" under my breath and am holding a pencil in my left hand like Heath Ledger. The class ends, and this kid rockets out of his seat before I can say anything and is gone in a heartbeat. I am not able to bitch him out in the manner I felt I so richly deserved. So I will hold it in until Tuesday....but if that little peckerhead tries to do it again, I will make him swallow the chaw and pour the bottle in his backpack. I will go off meds for a couple days in advance to make sure I am crazy enough to do it and I will keep you posted.
When I was 26, I went into the Mortgage industry, working for Ameriquest (again, another story I'll have to tell). Because the hours were so long and because I was making a good salary, I didn't go back to finish the 10 classes I had left. For the last 12 years, I worked for various mortgage companies, made some cash, pissed it away and now with the mortgage crisis, I'm without a job, I spent all of the money I made and seem to have no prospects.
My fiancee has a bachelors and two Masters Degrees. She is wicked smart and she has been pushing me to go back to school and finish since basically our second date. This semester, I went back to Santa Monica College and I am taking a history and a math class. When I'm done with those, I'm 8 classes from a degree in Speech Communication at CSUN. That and 75 cents will get me a USA Today, I know, but it's better to get it done. This is an experience for me. I'm one of the older people in the class (there are a couple senior citizens then me at 38). I don't remember being this annoying (although I am quite sure I was) but some of the people in my class are starting to wear on my patience. Is it the three Freshman girls who decided it's more fun to giggle and yammer the whole time than take notes? Or the six young Asian gentlemen who get up 5 times a class and leave, never together, never for more than a minute, then come back and sit down? Nah, I don't care about that, I just moved to the back corner where I can take my notes in peace. But today, I met a new classmate and he just might have to meet the PMOT.
Anyway, I'm in class tonight. I'm taking down all of my notes on how to solve a quadratic equation by using four different methods (trust me, It's as exciting as it sounds) and I look over to about 2 on my clock and a little dweeb with chin pubes is spitting tobacco into a clear Arrowhead bottle. I hate spitting....it grosses me out. And for an hour (before we went on break) I couldn't be drawn away from this little bastard spitting. When something grosses me out, I am not tolerant, not quiet. I was pissed. We're not even supposed to have drinks in the class, let alone hand carried spitoons. And if you are going to do that, for fuck's sake get a cup that isn't clear so I don't have to see it edge down to the bottom. I was a basket case until about 10 minutes before the break when he put the dip in the bottle, capped it and put it all in his backpack.
I decided not to say anything because he had stopped and I thought that would be it. The break was over and we're taking notes and with about 20 minutes to go in class, he pulls out a Gabby Hayes size golfball o'chaw and starts spitting again. I start to shake inside. I am repulsed yet I cannot look away. I break out our patented family sigh....keep mumbling "that's so fucking gross" under my breath and am holding a pencil in my left hand like Heath Ledger. The class ends, and this kid rockets out of his seat before I can say anything and is gone in a heartbeat. I am not able to bitch him out in the manner I felt I so richly deserved. So I will hold it in until Tuesday....but if that little peckerhead tries to do it again, I will make him swallow the chaw and pour the bottle in his backpack. I will go off meds for a couple days in advance to make sure I am crazy enough to do it and I will keep you posted.
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