Thursday, June 3, 2010

Let's play catch up, shall we?

I haven't written a blog in a while. Actually it's been like a year. I don't know exactly why, maybe it's a lack of motivation on my part, but I am going to make a concerted effort to bitch here once in a while so the two or so people who read this can catch up on the ABC's of me.

Lessee, what's happened. I went back to school and finished my degree. I'm particualarly proud of this because I went to class everyday and didn't do too badly (Dean's List my second semester, combined GPA 3.5). My fiancee, friends and family had a lot to do with pushing me to show up and get it done. And I met some great people there too. Not that I'll probably ever see them again, but the fact they allowed someone twice their age to hang with them was nice of them. Maybe because I did a lot of the work, especially study guides and such. I was even older than some of the professors (up to 10 years) and some didn't get some of my references because they were outdated. That always makes someone feel good.

Speaking of age, I turn 40 in a couple months. When I was a teenager, I figured I'd be married by 27 and have some kids. Then when I was in college, I said 32, then when I was working, I said 35. I met the fiancee 5 1/2 years ago and we've been engaged for almost 2 years. It's not because we don't want to get married, it's just that the job situation has been ridiculous. After getting laid off 5 times in 2 years, now I only get offers to work at half the salary I was making before, which is basically what you get on unemployment. And if you were in the mortgage industry, it's like you are cursed and no one wants to hire you. There's a definite stigma.

Anyway, oh yeah, marriage. My friends are marrying and having kids and I want to be a part of that so badly you don't even know, but there's no logical way to do that if I'm not working. I had some promising leads, and some people said I was going to get hired, but then poof, the offers evaporated. I'm sick to my stomach about it on an almost daily basis. I feel like a burden on my fiancee and family. But we all will get past this, I know someone wants me. I hope someone does that is. I read there was a guy who sent out 847 resumes and finally got a job making half of what he made before. I'm at about 500 or so, and it's getting to be close to that time.

Both parents got sick this year and had to have serious surgery. I've always looked upon my mom as this force of nature, she was able to raise me and my brother by herself and handle everything work and life threw at her. Right before her surgery, we went to Paris for a week and she walked miles and miles all over Paris and Versailles and left me in the dust, a whimpering baby who couldn't keep up. So to then see her laying there in a hospital bed wrecked me. She's a lot better now. She's even going back to work next week. Like I said, she's really strong. Dad's ok too, he's been beating the odds for many years for many reasons.

So what am I doing while I look for work? I'm reading a lot of books, like one or two a week. Right now I'm reading Doyle Brunson's autobiography, which is cool. I also read a Bill Russell biography that was really good and can't wait to read the sequel to the Presumed Innocent book. I'm filling out applications and sending resumes and I'm trying to work out. I started a 30 day program on my Wii and I can feel some results already. I hang with my brother and fiancee. I try not to call my other friends that much because they have their own things going on. One just had a kid, one moved in with his girlfriend, one moved, one is buried in work cause it's his busy time of the year, etc. It's not like when we used to meet every Wednesday at Jerry's Deli or Enzo's and had dinner. I miss that, but I also know we grow up and apart eventually. I know if I needed them, they are a call away.

I didn't set out to be depressing, so if I was, I'm sorry. I will be getting to some more enjoyable subjects and I promise to blog a lot more. It's good to get stuff on

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