People have no fucking taste....

***This is going to be a long one people, maybe you should get a beverage first***

So I'm minding my own business, basking in the glow of a Steelers Super Bowl Victory. I don't know if they deserved to win, but they did. Still and all, props to Arizona and especially Larry Fitzgerald, who has been my favorite non Steeler for about two years. Anyhoo, I turn on my computer and AIM comes on. With it comes a page that says...50 hottest redheads. I'm a sucker for redheads, and Pajiba just had a vote recently about it, so I decide to take a look. What I saw was not only terrible, but downright disgusting. I don't know who voted for this but whoever it was wasn't either 1. Male or 2. Over the age of 18. Either that or this was a list made based on whose publicists did the most work. Because now only haven't I heard of half of these people, but most of the people who are on it I know are laughable. And apparently it's based on anyone who they have a picture of with red hair, because some people who are known as a brunette or blonde are on here as well.

The site is http://dashboard.aim.com/aim/galleries/50-hottest-redheads?icid=aimDBPromoOne_1

I recommend you look along as I make my comments.

50. Jenna Fischer - A great start to the list. I think 50 is pretty low, but at least she is on it. She's downright adorable.

49. Gia Ferrell - Don't know who she is. Not cuter than Jenna. In line for a beak tweak. Average at best.

48. Alison Sudol - Who is this? Apparently a singer. The pic on the list makes her look goofy.

47. Rumer Willis -

(stares at screen, mouth agape)
(sighs)
(takes a sip of water)

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Are you fucking kidding me? I've had bowel movements with blood in them that were prettier redheads than her. She looks like a misshapen Mister Potato Head. I went into a full body heave when I say her on the screen. She must have made Demi Moore's vagina look like a manhole when she was born. Sweet Tapdancing Christ on a pogo stick. She's not the 50 cutest anything. I don't know who Jenna Fischer pissed off, but she needs to fire her publicist ASAP.

46. Alyson Hannigan - Wayyyyyyyy too soon for her to be on this list. Not based on the picture on the site, but all of the other ones. She's adorable and a top 10 contender here and on Pajiba when we had our vote. At least she is ahead of 47 (which is also her hat size)

45. Cris Winger - No fucking clue. IMBD says she did makeup for 20 movies and was in one. she's cute, but not deserving to be on this list if we don't know who the fuck she is.

44. Sara Rue - She was on some TV show, where she was perky and chunky. Then she lost weight. I think she was on The Big Bang Theory recently. If I could possibly pull her in a bar, she shouldn't be on the list.

43. Emilie Dequenne - French actress. Meh.

42. Barbara Meier - German Model. Won Germany's Next Top Model. Bad picture I guess.

41. Susan Sarandon - 20 years ago maybe. Come on people, I understand that we are supposed to celebrate older women and say that they are just as hot and vibrant as women 20-30 years younger than them. Horseshit. Susan Sarandon is a good looking woman and I thought she was great in Bull Durham, but is she hotter than Alyson Hannigan? Um, hell no.

40. Tori Amos - She wasn't hot before, she isn't hot now. Looks like a Muppet who sings depressing songs. This is a list of the HOTTEST Redheads and there have been 2 out of 11 that should be on the list.

39. Kristen Stewart - Bitch is boring when she acts. Looks boring in her pictures. It's funny, there's also a list of Top 100 performers under 25 that I couldn't bear to look the whole way through. Here's a hint. She's in the top 15, Lauren Conrad is 3rd. Dakota Fanning is 100th. Something is wrong wrong wrong here.

38. Kate Walsh - OK, not bad, this is about her range. I remember her when she was Drew's girlfriend on the Drew Carey Show and she wore a fat suit, but when she wasn't in it was sneaky cute. Then she gets on that crappy Grey's Anatomy show and she's sultry? Things change.

37. Deirdre Quinn - Apparently she is on Heroes. I don't know. I have never watched it. I watch How I Met Your Mother, a better show with a better redhead.

36. Aviva - There is no record of her on Google, just some company. Did a little deeper dig and she is Aviva Farber, the hot little redhead McLovin goes to bed with in Superbad. Jesus, that is the worst picture ever taken of her. I'd fire her agent for letting that represent her hotness.

35. Kate Nash - British singer. Once again the pic provided is the worst ever. Was the guy putting this together running late and needed to get out of the office? Take an extra 10 minutes and have some pride in your craft.

34. Emily Bergl - Another bad pic. And she doesn't look good with short red hair. She was in that Carrie 2 movie...there she had the creepy hot look aka the Fairuza Balk. You know, the look where she was going to fuck the shit out of you then kill you with a butter knife and use your skin as a Snugglie.

33. Claire Danes - Good pick, good placement. May be one of the rare women who is cuter as a blonde.

32. Danneel Harris - She's on One Tree Hill and was in the 2nd Harold and Kumar movie. And she will be in the upcoming Sony release Fired Up (that was for you Shawn). Maybe she should be higher than she is ranked here.

31. Bonnie McKee - she's a singer. Meh.

30. Lily Cole - Apparently this woman is a "Supermodel" She must be able to suck a tennis ball through a racket, though I don't know how with the bottom of your head missing. If we took Rumer Willis's jaw and put it on the top of hers, it would look like an Easter Island statue.

29. Michelle Stafford - Apparently she's won two Emmys. Then I looked further and they are Daytime Emmy's. I won a Daytime Emmy for the time I withdrew money at the ATM. She looks like an average soccer mom, the one who brings vegetables for the team snack.

28. Kirsten Dunst - I guess they don't take teeth into account. Britain's Sweetheart looks like she makes keys with those bad boys.

27. Shayna Rose - Another soap actress and was on Mad Men and Ugly Betty. Where she shouldn't be. On this list at 27. Plain pale redhead with no merit to be where she is.

26. Rachel Boston - Played the sister on The Ex List, which was cancelled in like a week. Another OK but not special pick who should be lower.

25. Scarlett Pomers - Like I'm going to back someone who's main role was on Reba. I don't get this list so far.

24. Christina Ricci - Much hotter with jet black hair. I don't even know when she was a redhead.

23. Gillian Anderson - Guys are crazy about her for some reason. She's cute, but has the personality of a tube sock. But the list is for hottest, so she should be here, and here's a good a spot as any.

22. Nicola Roberts - There's a band called Girls Aloud, I guess. Never heard of them. Never heard of her. She needs a nose job.

21. Phoebe Price - No fucking clue. She looks like she is a candidate for Crack Whore Magazine. But after starring in such classics as "The Junkyard Willie Movie - Lost in Transit" and "Strawberries for the Homeless" and one episode of Arliss as "Photographer" she clearly deserves to be on this list.

20. Julianne Moore - Now we are getting somewhere. Yes and double yes. Insanely hot back in the day and holds up nicely.

19. Bryce Dallas Howard - No and hell no. Clint is hotter than her. ***I went to the Pajiba list to look at this after I was done. Apparently, I used the same joke. It still applies.

18. Shirley Manson - Under the Freaky hot section (see Emily Bergl) but too high for this list.

17. Lindsay Lohan - I thought the idiots who made this list would rank her higher. But when she has her shit together and her mouth shut, she is attractive. Look that that to happen again in 2056.

16. Joss Stone - She has a good voice. I liked the first album where she sang standards. As for being hot? She is a two face. (see Seinfeld for reference) and hotter as a blonde.

15. Kate Winslet - Talented and hot. Deserves to be where she is, if not higher.

14. Karen Elson - British model and singer. eh, ok, you can stay.

13. Laura Prepon - Very very hot. I was saddened by three things about her. 1. when she went blonde. That was a sad day. She was hot and different looking then she went bimbo. 2. Dating Christopher Masterson, the less manly Masterson brother (which is saying a mouthful). 3. Is a Scientologist. Takes her out of the running forever.

12. Emma Stone - Another girl from Superbad. You know, for a movie I didn't much like, they did have some talented redheads. What? I think Michael Cera does the same thing every movie and Jonah Hill isn't funny at all. He aspires to be Jack Black.....who isn't funny anymore either.

11. Angie Everhart - Hall of Famer. Still has it.

10. Debra Messing - WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!? Are you kidding me? Personality goes a long way on this one. She is more annoying than crotch rot.

9. Alicia Witt - A personal favorite from waaaaaayyyyy back. When I lived at home, my mom loved Cybill. I would watch it just to see her. And Cybill is more annoying and self centered than Debra Messing, so that tells you how hot I think Alicia Witt is.

8. Ashlee Simpson - Ahead of Alicia Witt? Fuck you voters. She is the ugly sister. Hell, O.J., Marge and Grampa Simpson have more to offer than this talentless bim. the only couple I hate more than her and her gay husband are the two dickheads from the Hills. BTW, on that list of Top people under 25, Heidi was 24th. Kat Demmings was 25th. There is no God.

7. Amy Adams - Top 3 on my list. hell, at least she is in the top 10 and ahead of Asslee.

6. Drew Barrymore - Don't know what to say. For a while I had a full length poster of her in my old apartment that was hot. http://www.boxingscene.com/media/data/513/medium/3776Drew_Barrymore_boxing_again.jpg

She don't look like that anymore. She's attractive, but not top 10.

5. Rose McGowan - She is Top 5. Hot and curvy....and crazy!!!!

4. Lydia Hearst - Didn't know who she was. If you are allegedly top 5, we should know you. And eat a fucking burger while you're at it. I will trade Alyson Hannigan's spot for this one.

3. Marcia Cross - ?????? Do you remember that movie "Death Becomes Her" where Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep end up with eternal life, but have to spackle and duct tape themselves? I think Marcia Cross is going the same way. When she was on Melrose Place, she deserved to be up this high, but not now....no sirree bob. Good thing Teri Hatcher was never a redhead or her dumb ass would be on here as well.

2. Christina Hendricks - I have never watched Mad Men. I have seen pictures of Christina Hendricks. Mad Men is a great fucking show. And it's great some curvy women are coming on the scene.

1. Evan Rachel Wood - #1? The Hottest redhead? I mean she's cute, but not the hottest redhead. Not the hottest young actress. Not the hottest actress in the movie The Wrestler. Marisa Tomei, FTW. What a depressing end to the list.

OVERALL - Obviously the list sucked. I didn't know 18 of them. Some were criminally low, some were criminally high and Rumer fucking Willis was on the list. Do you know who wasn't on the list?

Lauren Ambrose
Nicole Kidman
Laura Leighton
Rachel McAdams
and the hottest redhead of them all (no, not Shawn Hugus)

Isla Fisher

As I said, I don't know who made this list, but here's my top 10 and I'll let you decide which is better.

10. Julianne Moore
9. Jenna Fischer
8. Christina Hendricks
7. Laura Prepon
6. Alyson Hannigan
5. Alicia Witt
4. Rose McGowan
3. Rachel McAdams
2. Amy Adams
1. Isla Fisher

....and I'm spent.