I can't sleep......

Once I fall asleep, I can sleep for 12 hours, but I am unable to fall asleep before 2 AM. It's 2:07 right now on a Sunday night and I am wide awake. I tried to sleep, but obviously it didn't happen. I did the LA Times Sunday crossword puzzle, but that only took up 29 minutes of my time (I usually do it in under 30 with a personal best of 21 minutes). I played Yahtzee and Word Whomp on Pogo. I read a chapter of Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (great book BTW, Shawn).

During the day there are a lot of things to occupy my time. When night falls, I worry about if I'm going to go to get a job. If not, am I going to go to school full time. If I do, can I afford it? When am I going to get married? How can we have a wedding if I am unemployed? Why can't I lose 30 pounds? (the answer to that is because every Monday, I try to start a workout plan, do 30-45 minutes on the treadmill and don't touch it again until the following week. But tomorrow, I'll start for real).

It's a different week with Thanksgiving coming up. A lot of places aren't going to interview. I've had a couple companies say they won't be contacting anyone until the New Year. So.....I will take the unemployment checks (I'm eligible for one year, woo hoo) and hopefully I will be working by MLK day. But I'm still going to worry until then. I'm going to be 40 in a year and 9 months. And yet I feel like I have no plan. I always said my work would not define the type of person I am, my family and friends would do that, but I'm not alone anymore. It's not like I'm afraid to work, and I've worked for some of the all time assholes in my life, so I can take abuse and criticism. Yet, I think going to school is the move. Most jobs, even on the entry level, require some type of degree. Since I will have 8 classes left after this, why not do it now? The market sucks and it doesn't seem like it's getting any better. Yeah, it's time to start looking for student loans tomorrow.....I promised people I would finish my degree, so it's time to live up to my word.

I feel better to put it in words. And now I'm getting a little sleepy. So maybe it's time to go to bed.